December kinda snuck up on me. I was so focused on getting funds and family together for Thanksgiving that it didn't occur to me that November was over. And now it's Christmas, and I have a whole new set of challenges to tackle. My mother-in-law had back surgery yesterday to correct a slipped disk/pinched nerve that had left her with no reflexes in her left leg. She's aware that the timing sucks, but she was afraid to wait, afraid that the damage might be permanent. I'm not sure what we can do to help her from here, but I'll think of something. On a less important note, I'd like to host Christmas dinner here again this year for Momma and Larisa, but first I've got some more remodeling to work on. There's no way in hell I'll get it finished, but we've GOT to get some kind of flooring in place in the remainder of the kitchen, and decide once and for all if we're pulling out the island and replacing it with an U-shaped configuration. Do we pull out the paneling and two layers of wallpaper and replace it with sheetrock, or do we just paint over the mess? Can we reuse the existing cabinets for now or are we going to have to try to scrape together some serious financing? Can I make do with the existing antique Jenn-Air, or are new appliances required? More sleepless nights, more impossible days and weekends. But hey, this is life. This is what it's like in a world where every day is a new crisis and a new adventure and a new opportunity to screw up or excel. Gotta love it.
Here I stand again, speaking to an empty room. My thoughts aren't worth the cyberspace they would take up if I cared to tweet or post to Facebook, but here I stand anyway. I had no idea how long it had been since my muse had forced me to write. I used to write almost daily, poetry mostly, when I was younger and believed that someone cared what I had to say. I wanted to be e.e. cummings or T.S. Eliot or anyone who seemed to be so comfortable in his own skin to pour out his emotions onto a blank page. It took me a few years to realize that the writers who filled my pantheon of literary deities were not that comfortable after all, but wrote because not writing was more painful than the spilling of emotion. So I think I will take up my keyboard once more, wade out into the battle, and write.
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