Against all odds, Nana's still holding on. They have her in a regular room, sedated with morphine, and they've said that today they'll remove the feeding tube. It's only a matter of time now, I guess. At least she's not in pain. I didn't go see her. Maybe I should have, but we visited on Mother's Day, and that's how I want to remember her. I've seen the tubes and the drug-dulled eyes before - I don't want to see her that way now. Perhaps that's selfish of me, but death with dignity ought to be free of the parade of people who circle like so many vultures. Besides, Momma will need me more afterwards than she does right now. So instead of making the trip, I spent the weekend in mindless movie watching interrupted by the occasional chapter of Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil to try to keep my mind off things. We watched everthing from Robin Hood Men in Tights to LA Confidential, with a side order of Tomb Raider and Kill Bill. So now it's Monday, my brain is numb, and my first cup of coffee never tasted so good. But the e-mails are stacking up, so I guess it's time to get to work.
Got a late start today, so apparently Karma says I have to make up for it by being incredibly busy. I've been in the office for three hours, and I've spent at least one hour answering e-mail, one hour acting as counselor, and one hour on the phone. It's 2:00 and I'm finally getting my first cup of coffee for the day - what does that tell you. So far I've learned that most doctors are quacks - they all just guess at the problem, and sometimes they get lucky and guess right. I've learned that if you subscribe to Ifit.com, eventually you'll catch an ear-worm - I've listened to essentially the same music over and over for so many months now that I often catch myself humming it. I've learned that my sister is a nutcase and sends me way too much funny stuff. At least it's Friday.
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