I try to like my job. I really do. Most of the people are great. Some are not so great, but that's just life, and I can accept that. It's just that with these latest shifts of power, I don't feel very capable, and my opinions and knowledge are being questioned and tested on a daily basis. I'm tired of explaining why an out-of-the-box HP PC is better than a home-built ASUS POS PC. I'm tired of explaining that laser printers are not ever going to be the best choice for printing these friggin' claims. I'm tired of fighting the same battle every day and never feeling like I'm gaining ground. I'm weary to my soul right now, and there's no end in sight.
I've never been good with expressing emotions. I always felt that emotions were a sign of weakness - part of being raised as my father's "son", I suppose. Lately I'm having a hard time bottling up those things that bubble up when people start flinging arrows and stones. Some I deserve. Others, less so. Innocent comments get taken out of context and used to further some cause. I make a genuine post about an overwhelming feeling I have, and someone turns it into an accusation, based on some sort of internet statistic that proves I've posted in response to something else. Frankly, I don't see the connection. I get angry more often than I used to, but I often feel like I've been kicked in the gut too. I'm not accustomed to that one. It usually brings tears. Intended kindnesses are perceived as attempts to control. And this post will be labeled as an attempt to send someone on a guilt trip - but hey - if the shoe fits, baby, wear it out.
Comments
Why hire and pay people with Expertise if you're not going to listen.