One of my New Year's resolutions should have been to stop getting my divine direction in life from those little scraps of paper in my fortune cookies. Or maybe I should just give up Chinese food so that I would never be exposed to another fortune cookie. But since I didn't and I can't, I was faced with this lovely bit of wisdom: Many a false step is made by standing still. On the back was the Chinese word for Post Office if ever I'm in Beijing and need to mail a letter or postcard back home. This is ironic because of my method of dealing with life-changing decisions - I tend to stand at the crossroad until the developers come along and rearrange the scenery. I shall have to ponder this bon mot over a cuppa and maybe it will all make sense.
I've never been good with expressing emotions. I always felt that emotions were a sign of weakness - part of being raised as my father's "son", I suppose. Lately I'm having a hard time bottling up those things that bubble up when people start flinging arrows and stones. Some I deserve. Others, less so. Innocent comments get taken out of context and used to further some cause. I make a genuine post about an overwhelming feeling I have, and someone turns it into an accusation, based on some sort of internet statistic that proves I've posted in response to something else. Frankly, I don't see the connection. I get angry more often than I used to, but I often feel like I've been kicked in the gut too. I'm not accustomed to that one. It usually brings tears. Intended kindnesses are perceived as attempts to control. And this post will be labeled as an attempt to send someone on a guilt trip - but hey - if the shoe fits, baby, wear it out.
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