Quote of the day: I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. I was going to skip the bike ride this morning. We moved the exercise bike from the dining room during the whole remodeling thing, and I haven't been using it much since, mostly because it involved finding a place to set up my laptop to run the bike. I decided last week enough was enough, so last Tuesday I started all over and set up the schedule for the exercise program again. I'm supposed to ride at least three times a week, with each of my planned weeks beginning on Tuesday. I didn't ride on Tuesday of last week, felt like crap on Wednesday, overslept on Thursday, forgot on Friday, but Saturday I felt a renewed sense of urgency to do something about my health, so off I rode. Sunday wasn't too hard, and by Monday, it was feeling like part of my daily routine. Tuesday was also easy to do. But this morning - this morning I felt like sleeping in. I mean, who really wants to be up at 5:30 sweating on an exercise bike? But the funny thing was, I couldn't do it. I couldn't go back to sleep, so I got up and rode. Guess it's a good thing. I still have this crappy creeping-crud that will not die, but I rode anyway, and on some level, I feel better.
I've never been good with expressing emotions. I always felt that emotions were a sign of weakness - part of being raised as my father's "son", I suppose. Lately I'm having a hard time bottling up those things that bubble up when people start flinging arrows and stones. Some I deserve. Others, less so. Innocent comments get taken out of context and used to further some cause. I make a genuine post about an overwhelming feeling I have, and someone turns it into an accusation, based on some sort of internet statistic that proves I've posted in response to something else. Frankly, I don't see the connection. I get angry more often than I used to, but I often feel like I've been kicked in the gut too. I'm not accustomed to that one. It usually brings tears. Intended kindnesses are perceived as attempts to control. And this post will be labeled as an attempt to send someone on a guilt trip - but hey - if the shoe fits, baby, wear it out.
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