Researchers have confirmed what speakers, actors, and college students have known for years: Stress causes forgetfulness. Well, duh. Actually, I find it very comforting, since stress has been a diagnosed condition in my life for quite some time. Stress is why I have acid reflux and gastritis. Stress is why my heart has an occasional arrythmia. Stress can now be blamed for my geriatric episodes, such as not remembering if I set the alarm or took my medicine or put the coffee pot back in the machine before making coffee. I'll quit worrying that I have early stages of Alzheimers, since that just increases my level of stress.
I've never been good with expressing emotions. I always felt that emotions were a sign of weakness - part of being raised as my father's "son", I suppose. Lately I'm having a hard time bottling up those things that bubble up when people start flinging arrows and stones. Some I deserve. Others, less so. Innocent comments get taken out of context and used to further some cause. I make a genuine post about an overwhelming feeling I have, and someone turns it into an accusation, based on some sort of internet statistic that proves I've posted in response to something else. Frankly, I don't see the connection. I get angry more often than I used to, but I often feel like I've been kicked in the gut too. I'm not accustomed to that one. It usually brings tears. Intended kindnesses are perceived as attempts to control. And this post will be labeled as an attempt to send someone on a guilt trip - but hey - if the shoe fits, baby, wear it out.
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