Did I ever mention I hate dress codes? I recognize the need - obviously some of would show up in our pajamas or less if given half a chance - but really, now, does it matter if I wear jeans? They don't have holes, frays, or stains. I generally wear a blazer and a shirt or just a polo with them... but I'm fighting a losing battle. I can't wear the clothes I like, I don't like the way I look in the clothes that I have, and I'm having a hard time finding a middle ground. I'm ready to throw 90% of my closet out. But I'll work through it. In order to be paid like a professional, one must look like a professional. Bah.
I've never been good with expressing emotions. I always felt that emotions were a sign of weakness - part of being raised as my father's "son", I suppose. Lately I'm having a hard time bottling up those things that bubble up when people start flinging arrows and stones. Some I deserve. Others, less so. Innocent comments get taken out of context and used to further some cause. I make a genuine post about an overwhelming feeling I have, and someone turns it into an accusation, based on some sort of internet statistic that proves I've posted in response to something else. Frankly, I don't see the connection. I get angry more often than I used to, but I often feel like I've been kicked in the gut too. I'm not accustomed to that one. It usually brings tears. Intended kindnesses are perceived as attempts to control. And this post will be labeled as an attempt to send someone on a guilt trip - but hey - if the shoe fits, baby, wear it out.
Comments