You know, I used to be very much opposed to mood-altering prescription drugs - valium, thorazine, etc. - because I felt that they were over-prescribed to "solve" problems, when it seemed to me that they only masked the problems and never really solved anything. And yet today, it seems like if you aren't on meds, then there's something wrong with you. I've seen them help people cope with daily living, and I've seen them become just one more thing the person has a dependency for, so I'm not so sure what I think anymore. There are times when I wish things were more black and white, instead of so many shades of grey. You know, grey's my favorite color....
I've never been good with expressing emotions. I always felt that emotions were a sign of weakness - part of being raised as my father's "son", I suppose. Lately I'm having a hard time bottling up those things that bubble up when people start flinging arrows and stones. Some I deserve. Others, less so. Innocent comments get taken out of context and used to further some cause. I make a genuine post about an overwhelming feeling I have, and someone turns it into an accusation, based on some sort of internet statistic that proves I've posted in response to something else. Frankly, I don't see the connection. I get angry more often than I used to, but I often feel like I've been kicked in the gut too. I'm not accustomed to that one. It usually brings tears. Intended kindnesses are perceived as attempts to control. And this post will be labeled as an attempt to send someone on a guilt trip - but hey - if the shoe fits, baby, wear it out.
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