Are you sure this is Wednesday? It's been a strange week. I know my co-workers must be ready to nominate me for What Not to Wear. So far I've had a Fat-Day Monday, Tacky Tuesday, and Semi-Professional Wednesday. And while I'm glad to be back, it's hard not to lose my cool with the users, even after a week off. We seem to be going in circles on some things - I tell them no, they ask again anyway. And there's a pervasive fear among my fellow LAN managers of what's coming next - we've seen the future, and we've decided, futile or not, resistance is the only option we have. I'm trying to step back and figure out where I'll fit in the new regime...or even if I'll fit. Tonight we hit the books again - I have got to pass about five tests in the next two months. Something tells me that it's critical. Which means it may be awhile before I finish my pleasure reading.
I've never been good with expressing emotions. I always felt that emotions were a sign of weakness - part of being raised as my father's "son", I suppose. Lately I'm having a hard time bottling up those things that bubble up when people start flinging arrows and stones. Some I deserve. Others, less so. Innocent comments get taken out of context and used to further some cause. I make a genuine post about an overwhelming feeling I have, and someone turns it into an accusation, based on some sort of internet statistic that proves I've posted in response to something else. Frankly, I don't see the connection. I get angry more often than I used to, but I often feel like I've been kicked in the gut too. I'm not accustomed to that one. It usually brings tears. Intended kindnesses are perceived as attempts to control. And this post will be labeled as an attempt to send someone on a guilt trip - but hey - if the shoe fits, baby, wear it out.
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