They say no news is good news, and maybe they're right. But just the occasional update would be comforting. Silence can be devastating - left to its own devices, the mind can dream up some terrifying scenarios which have no basis in fact, yet are just as real to the thinker as the memory of what he had for breakfast. It's probably this capacity to believe the imagined to be true that makes horror stories such a delight to read... but I digress. It is so hard to stay focused when your heart just isn't in what you're doing.
I've never been good with expressing emotions. I always felt that emotions were a sign of weakness - part of being raised as my father's "son", I suppose. Lately I'm having a hard time bottling up those things that bubble up when people start flinging arrows and stones. Some I deserve. Others, less so. Innocent comments get taken out of context and used to further some cause. I make a genuine post about an overwhelming feeling I have, and someone turns it into an accusation, based on some sort of internet statistic that proves I've posted in response to something else. Frankly, I don't see the connection. I get angry more often than I used to, but I often feel like I've been kicked in the gut too. I'm not accustomed to that one. It usually brings tears. Intended kindnesses are perceived as attempts to control. And this post will be labeled as an attempt to send someone on a guilt trip - but hey - if the shoe fits, baby, wear it out.
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